Apartment Scam

Martin Festoon was sued today for selling apartments online by photographing the interiors with tiny furniture inside. The small furniture makes the rooms in the apartments appear to be several times larger than they actually are. When confronted by CMM, Mr. Festoon said in his defense that he did post the actual square footage in his advertisements, and if people wished to purchase apartments by looking at photographs alone that was their fault. He has made miniature furniture as a hobby for thirty years.

To the best of your knowledge. This is Micheal White for CMM.

age and size

I recently took a vacation to visit some neighbors in one of the nearby star systems. It had been so long since I last visited that I had completely forgotten the physical proporties of the local inhabitants. I had to make my way carefully through the hotel lobby where my old friend Rebecca was living. Infants and elderly dodged between and around my legs. One wrong step could easily lead to a lawsuit, or worse. Luckily most little people know that they are little and do not want to be stepped on. Still, as an outsider there is always the danger of being taken advantage of, or so old humans like me tend to beleive. A local teenager towered over me in the elevator. I finally arrive.

“My goodness, you look awful Jeffrey.”

“I never did get used to these queer parabolic lifecycles. It is good to see you in person again, Rebecca.”

“It’s good to see you, too. You know, the human lifecycle used to be pretty parabolic, too. We may not have started and ended our lives at only a few inches as the locals do, but we were still far more similar than different.”

“I’ll take your word for it, you were the genetic historian after all.”

“Come sit down and have some tea with me.”

I smile.

We always let far too much time pass between visits.