The Ambassador

This is a story about making friends on far away worlds.

“You’re dying Gameli–I’m sorry.”

I had not been looking forward to dying. In fact I had avoided death quite actively over the course of my life. It was a long life as far as lives go. I was 120 years old; about the average life expectancy for a single male of height and weight. Still, I had never convinced myself that I was never really comfortable with the prospect of dying.

“What options do I have?”

“Besides dying?”

“Besides dying, yes.”

“There are no ‘alternatives’ to death. Everyone dies.”

“Well, I don’t want to do ‘what everyone does.”

“It’s perfectly natural to die. There’s no real reason to oppose it.”

“I’d like to go now.”

“But we haven’t finished the examination procedure.”

“I’d like to go now, because you are an idiot.”

“…”

There were of course plenty of reasons to oppose death. If I were alive I could do many things. Such as think, or be. If I were dead I could not do anything: I would be DEAD. Whether it be a jury condemning me to the death penalty or it be God, I would not accept such a verdict happily.

I had accumulated a great deal of wealth over the years. First through the tremendous success of my animation studio (It was the first American based animation production company to deal seriously and consistently with mature issues in science fiction, gender theory, and youth empowerment). The second cause of my prosperity was due to large investments in green energy, space travel, and neuro-cyber technology. The final contributor to my great fortune came with the expansion of my production company into interactive entertainment. Once we were making video games with the same level of entertainment value and substance as our animated films, the money simply wouldn’t stop flowing.

Of course I didn’t hold on to all of the money I made from these endeavors (That would make me a complete ass hole). I invested a great deal in the establishment of the global government and its corporate redistribution legislation (Several corporations had attempted to take over the world, thus forcing the first international government into existence and creating a great deal of mistrust in the current international corporate structure–but I digress).

Still, a vast sum of funds remained at my disposal at this, the time of my impending destruction. I asked around the science community. There were a number of pharmaceutical companies researching immortality, but none had succeeded due to lack of funding and public interest.

There was a light at the end of the tunnel though. I discovered an opportunity to take the Walt Disney route, freezing one’s body so that it can be revived at a future point. I elected to take this route… with a twist.

Having been around people for the duration of my life, I discovered that I had a strong urge to interact with other intelligent beings in the universe. The few organisms who had made contact with us refused any formal communication. They saw themselves as far superior and did not wish to contaminate the rich cultural exchanges which they so enjoyed with each other on such a savage and smelly race as ours, the human one.

There were however a few promising regions of our sector of the galaxy, as of yet unexplored–by humans in any case. Astronomers had evidence that there may have been intelligent life in this sector. Many radio waves from this sector, when twisted this way or that, resembled extremely highly degraded television programs or other types of communication. Of course only the information transmitted by light was recent enough to give any accurate information about the sector–and that information could be interpreted many ways.

This still seemed to me an excellent location to attempt the establishment of earth’s first ambassadorship.

I had myself cryogenically frozen, stored in a very expensive coffin, and launched into space. There were some ipods and extremely powerful flashlights in case the case survived the trip but I did not. The former for cultural exchange and the latter to let earth know that I had arrived (If anyone even cared by the time I did–besides, even if I survived the trip, I might just be dead anyway by the time they get the message).

The trip was a couple of thousands of years long. I passed a few strange organisms during this period of time, none of them intelligent. These creatures were similar to jelly fish or mushrooms. I would have been very uncomfortable at the time if I had known they were present; but I also would have been intrigued. For a number of years, one of them followed my tiny vessel and consumed trace particles and heat left in its wake.

At long last, I arrived at my destination. I awoke to find, once my eyes focused, a familiar face staring back at me.

“Whaga fugr yoo dooinkier?”

“Relax. You need some time for your muscles to wake up before you’ll be able to swear properly.”

It was that stupid doctor who told me I was dying. I made a gurgling sound and drooled a little.

“I suppose you are surprised to see me? I insisted on being the one to revive you. Great prank, right?”

I made sure to hold my expression of bottomless loathing.

“Shortly after you were sent on your way, the pharmaceuticals had a major breakthrough toward immortality. Then, just a few years ago, we invented warp drive. Hilarious, isn’t it?”

I can’t help but smirk a little.

“I think I owe you an apology. Trying not to die isn’t that stupid after all.”

This is how I made my first friend on distant planet. Many more would come. Their variety would be endless.

By Gameli Anumu