Life Cereal, Seriously?

I can’t believe you are still racially stereotyping you cereal. I promise, it really will be okay if you put white kids on the Maple and Brown Sugar box and black kids on the Original box.

Childhood Role Play

A kindergarten teacher speaks to a boy and a girl at a small table in the corner of the classroom.

Hitting is not okay. Now apologize to Cindi.

But Zack and me were playing a game.

Oh really? And what game would that be.

We were playing Chris Brown and Rihanna.

Yeah. It was fun.

Have kids always been this weird?

Now it’s my turn to be Chris. *slap*

Ow.

Heeehaha.

And the tears begin to flow.

age and size

I recently took a vacation to visit some neighbors in one of the nearby star systems. It had been so long since I last visited that I had completely forgotten the physical proporties of the local inhabitants. I had to make my way carefully through the hotel lobby where my old friend Rebecca was living. Infants and elderly dodged between and around my legs. One wrong step could easily lead to a lawsuit, or worse. Luckily most little people know that they are little and do not want to be stepped on. Still, as an outsider there is always the danger of being taken advantage of, or so old humans like me tend to beleive. A local teenager towered over me in the elevator. I finally arrive.

“My goodness, you look awful Jeffrey.”

“I never did get used to these queer parabolic lifecycles. It is good to see you in person again, Rebecca.”

“It’s good to see you, too. You know, the human lifecycle used to be pretty parabolic, too. We may not have started and ended our lives at only a few inches as the locals do, but we were still far more similar than different.”

“I’ll take your word for it, you were the genetic historian after all.”

“Come sit down and have some tea with me.”

I smile.

We always let far too much time pass between visits.