Posts Tagged ‘poison’

hfcs ad

February 16, 2011

Does that high fructose corn syrup ad where they say your body can’t tell the difference between hfcs and sugar bother you?

After all, your body can’t tell the difference between phosphorous and arsenic either. That’s why arsenic is poisonous to us!

Anyway, thinking this ad is carefully worded not to say that hfcs actually behaves exactly the same as sugar in the body, because they can’t say that.

 

I have a similar problem with the dove soap ad that says that bars of soup that dry out probably dry out your skin. Water evaporates but that doesn’t mean that touching water will make you evaporate. Christers! No wonder americans can’t tell the difference between science and bullshit.

Misinformation is the mainstream.

Walmart, Why?

May 3, 2010

dread and butter

July 5, 2009

Melvin was quite surprised to find himself choking at the dinner party. No, not choking… Poisoned. It could have been any one of them. Ms. Howles with her furry hat, Sir Klatki with suspicious glances, Dr. Furow with… Melvin was dead.

A Happy Society

May 16, 2009

An exorbitantly wealthy scientist once wished to create a perfectly happy society. Genetic engineering would be its key. The first batch of people all died during infancy. The tolerance levels for the poisons that their brains had been programmed to release with negative emotions were simply too low. As soon as an infant began to cry, it would die. After the sixth batch or so, the strategy was perfected. Sadness, anger, and other “negative” emotions would cause severe pain or even death. The scientist created a perfectly happy society.

Every year there are inevitably a few dozen deaths, mostly children and adolescents. If a person can make it twenty years or so without slipping into a fetal depression, they tend to keep the healthy habit of happiness up for life. Those who are not so brave, or so cowardly, die a slow and painful death. Poison secreted from their brains creeps down the veins in their arms and back, chilling the tips of their fingers and toes. They die a lonely death, clenching groin and buttocks. A tear-stained corpse will be found shortly after on a hard street or a soft bed.

Only one murder has been committed since emotional conformity was actualized. The science was killed in cold blood. Nobody stopped the murderer, there were no police because there was no crime. Some expected the assassin to die there next to its maker, but the assassin simply walked away. Apparently the perpetrator not of a crime of passion, but one of simple necessity.

Two generations after the assassination the trait still persists, a cursed cancer of the heart. One can only hope that their descendants will be truly happy.