Prank Hat

Jimmy was told by his friends to wear a special hat tonight because tonight was the anniversary of uncles death. Jimmy’s uncle was not a nice fellow and if Jimmy could help it he would definitely prefer not to be haunted by him. Jimmy was assured that hat would make him undetectable to ghosts.

That night Jimmy didn’t sleep at all. This wasn’t because the hat was uncomfortable, quite the contrary in fact. It was actually quite soft and head shaped despite its metallic glint. Jimmy failed to sleep because throughout the entire night he was plagued by the sensation that he was not alone. At least he had the hat on, otherwise whatever presence was lurking would surely discover him, even if he stayed perfectly still all night.

The next day, Jimmy’s friends ask him how he slept. Jimmy says that he didn’t because something was in his room all night. His friends laugh out loud in his face. Jimmy doesn’t understand. They explain that the hat has magnets in it that affect the sides of your brain and make you feel like their is something there when there isn’t. Jimmy is betrayed and confused. He doesn’t say anything for the rest of the day. Some of his friends feel guilty.

The next morning Jimmy is woken up early by his parents. They tell him that his friends are on the morning news. Apparently they were all hospitalized last night. It seems that some sort of animal somehow got into their rooms. Jimmy stared at the hat on his desk, perplexed. Had the hat worked after all?

Music Composition 2120

In the year 2120, new brain scanning technology becomes available to the public. Bachtoven, as he calls himself, is a self-taught musician. He is on his way to the top of the music scene with nothing but his brain, his brain scanner, and speakers. He is performing a concert in the old stadium tonight.

A million people sit in the audience. It is a cool evening in November. I am there. I wear a fedora and a trench coat so that people won’t recognize me as easily. I have an on-line music review. It is the most widely read review in Cincinnati. I have not kept my skepticism about Bachtoven a secret.

The stadium lights go out. A few sparks of electricity streak across the would-be roof of the stadium to let us know that there will be sky fire. A deep base tone makes our butts rumble against the metal stadium seats. A single light glows from below Bachtoven. We can see the round contour of his electrode laced scull cap and the flowing shadow of a cape. The base tone begins to oscillate. A ring of red and red violet pulsates around the edge of the sky fire web above us. Light crashes down with it, like ash or leaves, illuminating the audience below.

A sound akin to violin or electric guitar pierces through the air in a violent melody as silent lighting  crashes down into the empty field around Bachtoven. The familiar sizzle of a fiber piano follows soon after. With it comes green bubbles, which kidnap delighted audience members at random and float with them around the auditorium. Most of the first piece goes on something like this, with plenty of variation of course, and with some minor sounds introduced occasionally. In truth my mind is a bit blown. The composition is incredibly complex and emotional, and I certainly couldn’t have been able to hold so much in my own head. I shamelessly begin to think about how I might make the claim in my review that Bachtoven can’t not either.

After a period of silence, a long string scaling harmonies begins. They become increasingly fast and layered. When they reach an apex, the sky fire becomes erratic, and waves of plasma wobble out and around the stadium. Suddenly, there is a deafening tearing crack. It is hard to tell whether it is part of the music as first. As the music dies it becomes clear that it isn’t. A dark rift with purple lighting around the edges forms in the center of the auditorium. Bachtoven gets sucked directly into it along with most of the first few rows of spectators.

They still don’t know what exactly caused the rift. Bachtoven’s manager released a statement that Bachtoven had been taking drugs so that he could hold more complex patterns in his head than he would otherwise be able. Perhaps this had something to do with the rift. In any case, the human brain has now been classified as a potentially dangerous weapon and all brain scanning technologies are being very heavily regulated.

The rift is still present. A probe is due to be sent into it a week from Thursday. Perhaps Bachtoven was simply so popular that probe will discover he has been taken to old a performance for creatures from some distant place. I think he’s probably just dead.