— hey earth.
— moon? what is it?
— do you remember those little fellas?
— humans?
— yeah, they were funny weren’t they?
— they were funny, yes.
— what ever happened to those guys?
— i uh, i don’t know, moon. (i happened, that’s what.) heh heh heh
— did you say something?
— nope, i didn’t say anything.
Melbourne’s eyes grew on stalks. This caused a great many problems for him. It made it impossible to get glasses, difficult to make friends, and instead of using hairbands to keep his hair out of his eyes he had to use eyebands to keep his eyes out of his hair.
Fortunately, there was an accident at one of Monsanto’s secret laboratories. A stalk of corn grew to impossible proportion. Melbourne managed to sneak onto the premises. The one thing that his eyes were good for was seeing around corners. He climbed the cornstalk all the way up to the moon where he met several other individuals whose eyes grew on stalks. They were happy for a time until Melbourne realized that they shouldn’t have to live on the moon just because they were different. Unfortunately, by the time he realized this the great giant cornstalk had been cut down.
They had no choice but to build a spaceship. When they made it back to earth everyone thought that they were aliens. They tried to explain but nobody would listen. In any case, they finally received the respect and positive attention that they deserved.
It is the year 2070.
We must all live indoors in airtight spaces. Even a small leak can be fatal. Many of us live far from the city, isolated in our small condominiums. I must water the plants today. My life depends on it. I, like most people, cannot afford to purchase outside oxygen, so I must keep several plants to produce it for me.
The light in the living room went out last month. I panicked. There is no natural light. Without the light my plants would wither. Several were in fixed planters and could not be moved to a different room. I also need constant light to make sure my eyes don’t go bad. At first I thought the generator had failed because it isn’t normal for the lights burn out. I complained about the faulty lighting tube. I have plenty of spares now.
For now, all of my needs are being met. Life on the dark side of the moon can be quite peaceful.
Some creatures come into sentience on the moons of large planets, mostly gas giants. Unlike humans, who often develop centrist cultures that perceive their world as the only or as the center of all worlds, those who evolve in revolution around massive objects tend to have a more humble paradigm.
Imagine, if you will, living your entire life in the shadow of Jupiter. Imagine living in a place where the seasons are just as dependent on that giant as they are on the sun. Imagine how difficult it would be to believe in a God that caters only to you or to your people. Surely there is nothing particular special about you. Anything that seems so is nothing more than luck. The orb on which live most likely isn’t even the only satellite in the planets orbit.
I hope that when we encounter creatures like this we have acquired the ability to be at least half as humble as they surely are.
This is moon base 5. Two members of our crew were found dead this morning. Others have reported sightings of a strange individual wearing a black cape and a long cloak. Two large bite marks were discovered on the necks of the deceased. Please send out a full investigation squad. My team is getting paranoid and I fear that if this isn’t resolved they may begin to turn on each other. Over and out.
The moon is thriving. There are more opportunities there than there are on Earth at the moment. The key to its successful colonization was of course our ability to harness new energy. Solar energy in particular. Now we have massive cities on the moon with functioning ecosystems and near limitless energy. Growing quality food is really the only difficult part of the entire operation. Everything else, including water production is simple.
Once the space elevator is completed almost anyone who wishes will be able to join the moon colony. Since national citizenship doesn’t exist anymore there isn’t even very much paperwork in the way. It really is a lunar gold rush up there.
It is hard to believe that primitive humans all those decades ago managed to live without the basic necessities available on the moon.
There was once a man named Helio Borsen. The sun shined out of his ass. I do not mean this figuratively as in Helio was full of himself. I mean this literally.
Helio was born with a blazing beacon shining out from betwixt his buns. His parents named him in jest after the ancient sun god.
Helio always had to wear really dark and really thick underpants in order to conceal his anal luminescence. However, on one occasion in middle school, Helio got pants-ed. His unfortunate perpetrator unwittingly attacked from behind and consequently, nearly went blind. The awkwardness vampire was present that day. It left invigorated.
In his junior year of high school, Helio went drinking for the first time. He drank more than he meant to. When another car cut of his friends and himself, he mooned the adjacent vehicles operator. Said driver, unable to see anything at all, swerved shortly after. The other car flipped and exploded. Helio was horrified by what he had done and vowed never to moon another person again.
He would eventually break the vow upon being fired. His boss would sue, and for the first time, the question of super human ability would be brought to the supreme court. Could a person’s freakish innate abilities be classified as dangerous weapons. The X-Men comic books were frequently cited for reference. The court ruled that intent determined whether a person’s body could be classified as a dangerous weapon. Helio was convicted of assalt (ass-alt) with a dangerous, but not deadly, weapon.
He spent a few months in jail. Nobody dared to attempt subduing Helio in the traditional manner. Nobody wanted to risk losing something important.
Upon Helio’s parole, he was asked to wear a special device and his backside. If he were convicted of moon shine assalt again, he would be forced to wear the device at all times.
Helio found it difficult to find work and eventually conceded to receive pay as a test subject for a weapons developer. He made the weapons developing corporation a lot more money than they ever made him.
The full moon fills the sky twice a year in this place. Strange birds that lack beaks make a great migration semiannually. There will be one place during one day twice a year where the moon will nearly touch the earth. It is at this moment that the middle stage in the lunar lotus’s life cycle begins. The lotus sprouts which grow on the lunar surface release spores when the earth’s gravity is at its peak. They germinate and eventually grow into the massive flower, three genders of which produce three different gametes. The flowers are known for the way they glow at night yet appear invisible during the twilight hours (there is no true day on Earth XS). Some biologists posit that the organism originated in deep space as it shares similar bioluminescent and transparent properties with creatures that evolve in the darkest parts of the ocean.
In any case. When the moon grows closer and larger once again. The Lunar Lotus flowers release a blizzard of purple glowing pollin, large blue floating pods, and pink pulsating strands of silky pollin which also serves to bond all the different gametes together into a cluster. The seeds germinate on the lunar surface if they are so lucky as to make their way through the air to a point at which the moons gravity is strong enough to attract them to it. The Lunar Lotus takes the form of a sort of syamese twin blade of grass. A short blade grows with a tall blade. The short blade will eventually grow a volatile package to help launch the spore back to earth while the long blade develops the spore.
There are even stranger mating process between animals. The lunar leapers have a completely gender segregated species. The females of the species live on the moon and are thinner and longer. The males of the species are thicker and have mammary glands. When the moon is at its closest point to earth. The lunar leapers copulate in the space of extreme gravitational overlap, in midair. Half a year later, the females will send the males to earth. There are far fewer females of the species than males as female lunar leapers never receive the benefit of father’s milk.
Humanity ussually ignores these wonders. As humanity continues to distance itself mentally from the moon, the moon of Earth XS drifts farther and farther away each year. Soon there will be no more herds of Lunar Leapers and no more fields of Lunar Lotus.
The Lunar Fox Press 