Interstellar Lover

Do you remember…

The first time…

That you probed me…?

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Refrain

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I feel so empty. So empty now. I feel so empty. Oh so empty…

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Chorus:

You came down from above.

You had on three fingered gloves.

The moon was high…

I thought I was too…

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I stared up at your oblong head as you came closer to my bed.

Then as I recall you said:

I’m an alien from outer space, here to rape you face to face.

But I’ll tell you confidentially, that isn’t quite my fantasy.

I prefer a slightly slower pace, followed by a trace of lace.

So instead of fueling hate, I think it would be great if we went out on a date!

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You took me by the hand, and

I stared up at your oblong head as you led me further from my bed.

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Chorus

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Where are you? Where are you now?

It has been one year…

This planet feels empty with out you here.

I’m sitting in my room masturbating with tears.

Come back to me.

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Refrain

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I feel so empty. So empty now. I feel so empty. Oh so empty…

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You took me up inside your ship, It was the most amazing trip.

We sailed across the Milky Way, We wore a belt of asteroids.

We dined inside deep-space cafes, We swam across a nebula.

We explored all the stars..

We leaped to Venus from Mars…

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Where are you? Where are you now?

Where are you?

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Refrain

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Chorus

The Man in the Manikin

Once upon a time in a city called Cincinnati, there was a woman named Wendi. Wendi was an avid shoper and often found herself at the North Hamton Shopping Plaza. One day while shopping for summer clothes she noticed something that she had never noticed before. It was the most beautiful manikin she had ever seen. It was wear a tacky striped shirt and green shorts. It was also wearing a pair of pink loafers. Wendi couldn’t help but stare at him. She was quite embarrassed when she noticed a teen-aged couple a few isles over who seemed to be watching and talking about her. She walked to the other side of the store for a while then slowly drifted back to the beautiful manikin.

He had a surprised expression frozen on his face. Wendi imagined that he didn’t always have that expression and that one day, just after closing, a female employee noticing how attractive he was, kissed him on the cheek before leaving for night. Yes. That’s why he has that expression on his face, Wendi affirmed.

She started to come back to the strip mall every other day. She always found herself looking up at the beautiful manikin in the tacky pink loafers. She knew that there was only one thing she could do. It wouldn’t be easy and she would probably never be able to come back to the North Hampton strip mall again, but that couldn’t be helped. She had to have him. She had to see him standing by the window in her apartment, surprised to see whatever cars or birds were skittering about outside. She asked to speak to the manager.

It had been a pricey and embarrassing exchange, but it had been worth it. Wendi dragged the manikin up the stairs to her apartment. By the time she made it to her floor she had almost forgotten the way the store employees had stared at her from the doorway as she shoved the manikin into her car and buckled his seat belt. He leaned against her shoulder as she unlocked the door.

The first thing she wanted to do was get rid of those terrible pink loafers. Clutching the manikin’s ancle with one hand and a loafer with the other, Wendi began to remove the offending footwear. She had just removed the second shoe when she noticed a slight twitch of the manikin’s big toe. She sprang across onto the sofa on the other side of her apartment without touching the ground. The stiff plastic luster that had defined the manikin’s face had left. He was breathing gently. Wendi stared, terrified and disbelieving. The man who was once a manikin looked around, confused but no longer surprised.

“What? Whe… I…” The manikin looked directly at Wendi. “I’m sorry, who are you and how did I get… that strange man.”

“You mean how did you get here from the strip mall?” Wendi asked.

“Wha? Strip mall? Do you have anything to drink, I’m really thirsty?

“Sure.”

And they lived happily ever after.