Aliens in my Alphabet

I am in contact with beings from another world. They speak to me through my alphabet soup and alphabet cereal. Currently they are teaching me how to build fully functional magnetic propulsion system. So far it sounds surprisingly simple. I have to be careful though. The neighbor across the street is ex-CIA, I think. If I’m not careful he might report me to the government. I’m sure the government would confiscate everything. They might even interrogate and/or experiment on me. I’m really not cut out for that sort of thing. I would freak out and try to appeal to my persecutor’s humanity but it wouldn’t work because he will be a hardened professional.

My room has padded walls… This is because I like to be free to move around all crazy when I get excited. It is not because I am crazy and live in an asylum. If you tell anyone that I’m crazy my alien friends will prank you. They do some really good pranks. They once did this thing to a guy where they had all of his best friends go to his house and throw him a surprise party in bed and they were all giving him awesome presents like wii games and ice cream, but then they pulled off their faces and it turned out that they weren’t his best friends they were my best friends (the aliens) and the guy wasn’t in a bed, he was on a lab table. So needless to say they totally freaked him out. The worst part is they didn’t even let him keep any of the awesome presents. They just dropped him off naked somewhere and told him to enjoy being told that he is crazy.

So anyway, I can talk to aliens who are badass and I’m going to win the nobel prize just like Obama and Gore and everyone will love me. And, I’m completely sane and not at all crazy.

Prison Corps

The united states government out of financial necessity this week just turned control over its prison system to a private corporation. The company will still have a number of legal mandates that it is expected to comply with, however it will be allowed to act largely without oversight.

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An army of modified humans have been released from a number of corporate prisons across the united states. The death doll is rising. The President says that there will not be a nuclear strike, at least not near enough to any residential areas to cause real harm.

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The corporation responsible for the attacks last week released an apology today. It will be the first corporation to be charged with manslaughter, and it may be facing the death penalty.

Words from the Heart

My best friend Jan was different. They took her away. I don’t know if I’ll ever see her again.

Growing up, we were just like any other kids. We talked about things we liked and things that scared us and things that made us angry. We built forts and had sleep-overs. We played games and laughed. We went to school together and sometimes we had the same teacher.

In fifth grade, Jan tried to call home from our phone. Her parents couldn’t hear her very well. It didn’t seem strange at first. It just seemed like something was wrong with the phone, because I was right there, and I could hear Jan fine.

Later that year, Jan tried to leave a message for me on the answering machine. We got in a really big fight the next day. She was really angry that I hadn’t responded to her message. There was nothing on the answering machine except silence.

We started to do some experiments that week. No matter how hard we tried, we couldn’t record Jan’s voice. We could both hear it, and so could everybody else, but for some reason, her voice couldn’t be recorded. It was really frustrating.

When we showed Jan’s parents they didn’t believe us a first. Grown-ups can be real jerks when they think they know everything already. Eventually we got them to let us show them. They believed us once they saw for themselves.

Jan’s parents got scared and started talking to professionals. None of them knew what they were doing. Then Dr. Helsbourg came. I saw $ $ in his eyes from the start. He had a case filled with strange spinning devices with lots of knobs and wires. He said, “It seems that your daughter doesn’t use her vocal cords to speak. My sensors indicate elevated levels saratonin of in her brain. She may be using telepathy.”

My parents thanked Dr. Helsbourg and paid him for his services, but indicated to him that they did not wish to perform any further testing. Dr. Helsbourg was furious. He told Jan’s parents that they were wasting on of the greatest discoveries in human history.

Dr. Helsbourg came back the next year. The government was with him. I heard a rumor that they want to weaponize Jan’s telepathic abilities.

I miss you Jan.

Jan breaks out of a government facility years later while I am in high school. She takes me away. I will convince her to use her abilities to make the world a better place. She will never really feel like she belongs with other people, except perhaps with me. Before she dies, she transmits a dream that she has to every member of the human species. It is a dream of peace. We all see it for a time, in our minds eye, then the moment is past.