There is a door in my attic that leads to New Jersey. It sounds stupid, but I swear to God it’s true. I know because I had to spend two-hundred dollars to get back to my home in Toronto. Don’t tell anyone who lives in New Jersey, but I’ve been using it to dump stuff I don’t want. I know that isn’t very nice. I feel bad, really.
I’m selling my house this week. I don’t know whether to tell the buyers about the door in the attic or not. If I do, they might tell the US government. Or worse, they might find out I’ve been dumping my trash in New Jersey. The US might send me to Guantanamo for terrorism. I guess they’re closing it, but maybe there’s another place they would take me. I don’t have a stomach for interrogation. I can’t even watch violent movies. I don’t think that I’ll tell them.
I just found out that the people I sold the house to are from New Jersey. They don’t know about the door yet. This doesn’t look good. If you find any strange doors in your house, I don’t recommend using them like I did.
The Lunar Fox Press 